Me: The performance has to be special--it has to mean something. Giving the universe a chance to experience itself through a moment
(upon reading this I realize it's definitely inspired by something I heard Deepak Chopra say)
Cecil Taylor had just passed away two days before and my friend had posted this quote on the 6th with a picture of Cecil which I think explains what I was thinking, just better.
Cecil: You practice so you can invent. Discipline? No. The joy of practicing leads you to the celebration of creation
Find your joy in practicing.